Okay, you have an entire collection of trusty vibrating pals, from realistic to air pulse ones, leathern, strapless – it doesn’t matter. And you also have a partner you’re not in a situation with, but you are going steady (he-he).
Eventually, there must be a moment when these two universes collide – one of your USB-rechargeable pleasures and one of your real human lovers.
But how can you introduce them to one another without someone’s feelings getting hurt? How do you begin that conversation without spooking your new partner? Let’s say sex toys have come up in your conversations – but what if they didn’t, and you still don’t know where they stand?
The rule of thumb with these things is honesty, of course. But let’s dissect how to introduce your collection in the softest, most inviting way.
Let’s Get The Conversation Going
Naturally, you don’t want to reveal the truth about your vibrator collection during a heated dispute or as you’re binge-watching Netflix absent-mindedly on the couch.
Choose a relaxed moment when you’re both chilling and cozy but focused on each other and start the conversation by complimenting your partner and your sexual life together. Be upfront about why your toys are important to you.
Share how they’ve helped you explore your likes and establish confidence in your sexuality – probably one of the things they love about you – and how you’re excited to share this experience with them. Make it smooth, and let your bae voice their doubts and comments.
During this conversation, do not forget to check your partner’s comfort level with sex toys constantly. Keep in mind some people might be all in, while others might need some time to warm up to the idea. No pressure, just open dialogue. If they don’t feel comfortable, just let them think a little bit and end this conversation for a while if needed.
“Easy Does It”
When you feel that the time has come, instead of busting out your entire collection at once, try to introduce one toy at a time. Keep it simple. Start with something less intimidating, maybe with a cute little vibrator or a discreet vibrating bullet.
Let your partner see and touch the toy, and then try to gently explain how it can add some extra fun to your current sex life.
Building Trust And Intimacy
We all know that building trust and intimacy is crucial, especially when you come to the point of introducing sex toys into your relationship. Here are some tips to make the process smooth and enjoyable for both of you:
Create A Safe Space
Once again, before you even try to start this convo, make sure your partner feels safe and comfortable discussing this topic with you. Let them know that their feelings and boundaries are your top priority. Reassure them that exploring together is about building trust and bonding your connection, not only running towards your self-pleasure needs.
Communicate Openly
When you talk to your lover, go with the flow and trust the process. Check in from time to time to step out of your conversation or a show-and-tell and see if they have any concerns or questions. Plainly ask them if they are all right and feeling up to it. Encourage them to share their thoughts and fantasies openly, and naturally, when they do, listen carefully.
Focus On The Fun
Keep things light and playful. Remember, using sex toys together is supposed to enhance your connection and bring you closer. Don’t take it too seriously – have fun experimenting and exploring each other’s curves and edges.
Encouraging Exploration
Once you have talked, try out the gadgets together. Encourage your partner to take the lead and discover what feels and looks good for them. Remember, it’s all about them getting their toes wet, you are not setting an orgasm goal here – though it would be a nice bonus.
Baby Steps
If your partner hasn’t used sex toys at all before, start with something small and non-intimidating. A very plain vibrator or a beginner-friendly toy can be a great way to ease into the experience. Unless they have a specific fantasy they want to experience with you, of course, because in that case, you can go for a sex machine straight away.
Try Many Different Toys
Treat choosing your go-to sex toy like you’re choosing your favorite ice cream flavor – try them all before settling on one. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different types of toys to find what works best for both of you.
Whether it’s vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, or other accessories, there’s a wide variety to choose from. Do research together and find what makes you tick the most, what evokes dirty thoughts inside your head even as you look at it.
Educate Yourselves
Take the time to learn about the toys you’re using and how to use them safely. Read up on reviews, watch tutorials, dig up as many inspirational articles as you can find, and explore different techniques together – it’s a lesson where you both can get an A-hhhh.
Respect Boundaries
If your partner isn’t quite sure or comfortable about trying something, respect their boundaries. Don’t try to “talk them into it” or tell them to “get over themselves and they’ll like it.” It’s a big no-no. Move at a pace that feels right for both of you, and always prioritize consent.
Enjoy The Heck Out Of The Process
Remember, the goal is to bloom your intimacy and boost pleasure together. It’s about the memories you create in your unique way.
Overcoming Challenges Together
If your partner feels a bit insecure about your toy stash, talk about it and make them feel more confident. It’s about the journey, not the destination! If they’re not fully on board yet, no sweat. Give them space and time to adjust. Keep the lines of communication open and revisit the topic when they’re ready.
At first, maybe skip dropping by a sex shop near you and look around in online stores and communities. Check out online sex toy shops – like EdenFantasys – and make a game out of choosing your first shared toy.
Moreover, websites like this tend to have sex forums where you can read and ask more experienced users or couples about all of your ideas or fears. Obviously, there’s always someone who’s already been in your shoes, and they are usually more than excited to talk about their journey.
Keep Your Flame Burning Bright
Set aside special evenings for just the two of you to explore, shop for sex toys online together, discuss, and have fun. Make it a regular thing to keep the excitement alive.
Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings, and be receptive to their feedback. Read articles and watch videos together because, as they say – the more you learn, the closer you’ll become!
Enjoy The Fun With Toys Together
So, you catch the drift – introducing your old trusty sex toys into a new relationship can be a fun and rewarding experience for both of you. Once again, remember and remind your lover that it’s all about having fun together, maintaining trust, and building pleasure as an item.
If you move slowly and share your desires and fantasies from a place of quiet intimacy, safety and acceptance, you will surely find a balance within your couple.
